I watched you behind half closed doors, shadowing your every move behind my scowl and independence.
My eager little eyes watching carefully as you grew and changed and transformed. Seeing you turn from my playmate, to my role model, to (what at times could only be described as) a super hero.
I copied the way you dressed, the way you acted, the way you talked.
I shaped myself to fit into your foot steps. The ones I desperately admired… the ones of one of my biggest role models… the ones of my big sister.
I loved you despite the bickering, in fact, I love you more because of it.
Without a doubt you helped create me, mould me and mentor me.
You pushed me to my breaking point and then about a mile further until I was a puddle of anger and tears and swearing to never speak to you again. Back then I thought you were just being a typical big sister bully. Now I believe (to an extent) that you were just pushing me to be stronger and tougher. Making sure that your baby sister would gain at least half of the strength and power that radiates from you every day.
I was the baby, the spoiled one, the one who got away with murder and definitely the one who annoyed you by constantly trying to tag along.
But, I don’t know if you realized that I was just watching and waiting for my turn to be just like you.
We might not be sharing turkey lunchables on the way to the next rodeo, or slipping hand written letters under eachother’s bedroom door after a major fight, but it feels like just yesterday we were exercising our horses in the farmers field out back.
Regardless of the age difference, the kilometres between us or the amount of time that passes between each text, I’m still that little girl looking up to her big sister and admiring the traits that make you so uniquely you.
Happy birthday Sis, here’s to one year older, one year wiser and one more year filled with accomplishments I hope I can also reach one day.
Thank you for the life lessons, putting me in my place when I was a bratty little kid and always being on my side.
Our bedrooms might not be across the hall anymore, but I know that no distance will ever truly stand between us.
Loved you then. Love you still. Always have. Always will. xo