The terrible tissues

“When you get sick, it starts out with a single bacteria. One lone nasty intruder. Pretty soon the intruder duplicates, becomes two. Then those two become four. And those four become eight. Then before your body knows it its under attack.” – Greys Anatomy

No body in this world has been lucky enough to never experience sickness. In fact, probably about once a year, at least, around this time, garbage cans fill up with an abundance of tissues and empty Tylenol cold and flu packages.

Somehow, your nose becomes both stuffed up and runny all at the same time.

Your eyes water and then itch and then are so unbearably dry that they are comparable to the desert sand in the middle of the summer.

Your lunges completely betray you – and I mean walking 15 steps from your car to the front door – in the dead of the winter is probably the same amount of effort as running a marathon.

Your feet are always frozen. In fact, they might as well be permanently stuck in individual blocks of ice.

You’ve completely stopped checking your temperature because if you don’t know exactly how high it is you can ignore it for another day.

You’ve run out of tissues, toilet paper and everything else that you could blow your nose on that is remotely soft. But, it doesn’t really matter because it’s so dry and sore that you might as well just use sandpaper.

Your body aches 24-7 except for the 20 minutes where you find the time to stand under the boiling hot water of a shower, until you get so dizzy and light headed that you have to admit defeat and turn the water off.

You can’t remember what it feels to NOT have a headache – isn’t the painful buzzing in my head just normal?

Somehow it is impossible to regulate your body temperature, which should technically be second nature, but alas, somehow you are both freezing cold and sweating all at the same time.

You definitely sound like a frog who has been put through the blender, even if your friends and family are too sweet to admit that if they couldn’t physically see you, they wouldn’t be able to tell it was you from the sound of your voice.

Both your tonsils and your glands are swollen, but it’s fine because I’m sure if you deny it for long enough eventually they will shrink down to normal size. And hey, even if they don’t you can probably live with 70% less room in your mouth and your throat… right?

No body has seen you in anything other then track pants for who knows how many days now. But, little do they know you are wearing 3 pairs of leggings underneath to try and keep the chills to a minimum.

You’re physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted regardless of how many hours of sleep you get.

And even though it feels like you are all alone in the world, there are tons of other germ infected, half-dead, miserable people who are buying yet another box of cold and flu medicine for the third time this month.

Hang in there, flu season and winter are both bound to break sometime.

But, for now, this sick girl is going back to bed.


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