Speed Bumps

In general, I like to think that I am a pretty positive person.
I jump out of bed as soon as my alarm goes off, regardless of how tired I am. And overall, I am a pretty happy person almost as soon as my eyes open.
I try really hard to see the best in every situation, even if I have to cry about it before I can see it with clear eyes.
And I like to think of myself as strong, determined, and ready for everything that life has to throw at me; even if it continues to throw me curve balls that knock me on my ass.

But I will be the first to admit that even a positive person has negativity and doubts and weakness in the back of her mind – or at least I do some days.

At the beginning of the year – 7 months ago – I was ready for everything and anything. I had everything that I could possibly want at 20 years old. I had a family who stood behind me and supported me through thick and thin. I had friends who provided me with more love then I ever could have ever imagined. I had made steps forward regarding my career – including getting my work published! I had the horse of my dreams, making my riding goals one step closer. And the list goes on.

I thought for sure that 2016 was going to be the best year of my life – I don’t think this anymore.

I’ve come to realize that at 20 years old I don’t get to have “the best year ever.” In fact, at 20 years old I am lucky to have “the best day ever.”

Instead, what I’ve concluded about 2016 – in the 7 months that I’ve got to experience it – is that 2016 is going to force me to grow. Without a doubt this year isn’t the best year of my life, in fact it is one of the toughest of my life, and now I get to decide if I am tougher.

Every single month I have faced some type of hardship. I have been tested on a regular bases without any more then a few days of release. In the last 7 months I have faced so much heartache and discouragement and self doubt. More then I would ever wish on my worst enemy.

But here I stand.
With a tired soul and a positive attitude.
And a brand new perspective on 2016.

Back in January I was ready for this year to give me everything I ever wanted, now I’m ready to fight it for what I deserve.

 

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