Everyone always tells you how important it is to love yourself. How important it is to accept yourself fully. How important it is to make yourself happy before anyone else. But I think that once you are in a situation, any situation really, where you care about someone and you love someone that sometimes you put their feelings before your own.
It is human nature. It is natural to want to comfort someone, and to make somebody happy. And it feels amazing to be the source behind someone else’s happiness, the problem is however, that it is normally temporary. Whether it be your significant other, or your siblings, or your best friend eventually their happiness fails them too. Eventually you won’t be able to fix all the problems in their life while also juggling your own. Eventually you will realize that your love isn’t enough for everybody in the world. But your love is enough for yourself.
Don’t forget to love yourself first.
Don’t forget that it is ok to terminate toxic relationships. Remember that you can love somebody fully and unconditionally and one day it might not be enough anymore. And on that day, when your entire world comes crashing down around you, remember to love yourself first. Remind yourself to walk away, and to only break your heart once because your first priority, and your main priority, is always or should always be you.
It is so easy to get caught up in everybody else’s business. I will admit that I have a easier time fixing other peoples problems or dealing with other peoples bad days then I do my own. For me it has always been easier to give advice rather than take it and I think that this is the case for most people. It is easy to ignore all your problems if you can help out your friend, it is easy to give them advice that you refuse to take, it is easy to look at other peoples problems as fixable when yours are too big to even face. It is easy to hide.
More importantly though, and more commonly in my opinion, it is easy to look past somebodies flaws and obstacles and love them anyway. As a society we are so hard on ourselves. We are constantly comparing one another, copying one another, judging one another. We are presented with magazines, tabloids, movies, tv shows, and endless internet sites that tell us how we should look, what is hot, what the latest trend is – we are a society that is controlled and manipulated by the media. We gave somebody else, somebody with money, the power to tell us what is right or wrong for ourselves. And not only did we give people the power to do this, but we listen. We listen on a daily bases because if we didn’t they wouldn’t still be in business. But the expectations that they give us, and the image that they expect us to live up to is fake. It is photoshopped, and edited, and costs a lot of money. Ultimately it is unrealistic, but it is the image that we strive for and compare ourselves to on a daily bases.
I will be the first person to admit that I have self doubts. I am hard on myself. Sometimes I don’t always love myself. I am, and always will be, my biggest critic. I used to hide my writing from everyone. I used to look at something I wrote and think of it as mediocre, there was always something that could be improved or changed, or somebody else that could have wrote it better. Recently I took a huge leap of faith by sharing my writing with family members, friends and complete strangers. I am not saying for a minute that I am perfect, or that my writing is flawless so I am now able to share it with the world – but what I am saying is that I love myself enough not to hide an aspect of myself that truly makes me who I am today. I have been writing since I was four years old – basically I have been writing ever since I was old enough to boss someone around enough to write down what I said. Writing has been a apart of me for as long as I can imagine. It gives me an outlet and it gives me a voice. It took me approximately 15 years to open myself up. What I realized though, after I let people in, is that I wasn’t hiding from everyone else but instead I was hiding from myself. I had convinced myself that I wasn’t good enough. I didn’t give myself a chance, yet I would give people that I love a million chances.
There is something completely awesome and totally wrong with that statement. I should love myself more than I love anybody else. And I should give myself more chances than I give anyone else. And I should fight for myself more than I fight for anyone else. I believe that relationships are important, and that love is important, and that you should look past peoples flaws and love them unconditionally. But I also believe that you have to start with yourself and so many people forget that now a days.
It isn’t easy for me to look in the mirror and love every part of my body or my appearance. It isn’t easy for me to look past my mistakes. It isn’t easy for me to forgive myself when I screw up. But I am working on it. I am working on it because for a while there I forgot to love myself first. I put the people that I love before me, and I focused on fixing their lives and their problems instead of my own. The problem though, that I found out personally, is that when those people no longer need you, because everything is good again for them, you are left with a broken life and a lot of work to do. I know that it is easy to put yourself on the back burner. It is easy to love everyone else around you while secretly hating things about yourself. I did this, I still do this. But it is wrong.
You should never hide a part of you because of self doubt. You should never choose your outfit based on what other people might want or think. You should love yourself enough to do whatever the hell makes you happy, and you should love yourself enough to only listen to people who love you to.
Just please, don’t forget to love yourself first. The world is a cruel enough place as it is. You always need somebody routing for you. But more importantly you need that somebody to be you.