breaking negative routine

Have you ever been in the position where you feel like your life is following the same pattern day after day? Sometimes this can be helpful, enjoyable and easy to manage. But other times the same daily routine can start to wear on you, break you down, and make you feel trapped. Like most people, I can conclude that I have been in both types. 

Recently though, I was stuck in a pattern that clouded my vision and darkened my mood without my knowledge. I thought i was happy, I thought what I was feeling was normal, I thought this was the way my life was suppose to be going. It wasn’t until I took a step back, took a breather and cleared my mind did I realize that i needed to break the routine I was stuck in. 

It definitely wasn’t as easy as i thought it would be, to just pick up and change my life, my attitude, and my outlook. I realized the biggest issue was how much i aloud others to influence my emotions. I tried so hard to make everyone around me happy, to change myself to fit the way they liked – this gets extremely exhausting since everyone expects something different of you, it is also near impossible to please everyone and a huge waste of time. 

The first thing that I did to help break free of my own dark mind was let go of the people who expected more then I could ever possibly give them. Now you have to understand that even though these people caused me to lose site of myself, I also loved them with everything I had. It was hands down one of the hardest things I have ever actually done, and although it was something that I often talked about, I never before found the strength to actually follow through with it. Once I did find the courage though to say goodbye and after i grieved the loss of them within my life i slowly started to see the world a little different. It’s amazing how pretty spring flowers are when you actually have the chance to see them – as appose to staring at my phone and participating in the latest texting fight. Once i eliminated hours and hours of drama, heartache and anguish I found myself with enough spare time to take a couple moments each day to appreciate the world and everything it has to offer me. I soon realized that it is hard to have a negative mind when you are sitting under the sun with complete peace, its hard not to think positive when you acknowledge everything you have and everything you can strive to be. Ultimately it’s hard to be negative when you take time to see the positive.  

I guess that last paragraph helps introduce my second point as well. On top of letting go of people who didn’t help improve who i was as a person i also made time to notice just how awesome the people in my life were. I realized (even though it took way longer then it should have) i spent majority of my time and energy focusing on the people who wanted me to change, instead of the people who loved me for who i was. I thought that i would be completely alone if i let them go, but i realized i was alone when i held them close. Even if you feel completely alone and unable to live without that person, you can. There are always people who have been routing for you and they’re just waiting to step back up beside you and encourage you, strengthen you, and love you unconditionally. By making these wonderful positive people a main focus in my life again, i became a happier girl. It’s hard to be negative when you’re never alone. Majority of this article has been about people, and that is because i truly and honestly believe that people are constantly impacting your life. And thats ok, but you have to remember to surround yourself with people who bring out the best in you, not the “mess in you”.

I’ve never lived a terrible life. I have always been blessed and fortunate with who i have in my life, and what i have in my life. I have lived through heartbreak and tough times and eventually i always come out on top. The most important then that i’ve realized through this dark  journey was that if you focus on the positives in life there really is no room for negatives. And once you eliminate the negatives in your life there isn’t a lot that can break you down. 

Jane. 

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