what to do when your magic fairy doesn’t grant you your wish

Trust is known word wide as a belief that someone or something is good, honest, reliable, and effective. Trust is present in every relationship within ones life; whether it be within your work environment, the cashier at Walmart, your family members, or your significant other. Clearly the amount of trust differs depending on the relationship, but i think we can all agree that there is some degree of trust within every relationship you stumble across in your life. The world runs smoothly when running on trust; so the big question remains… what happens when all of a sudden that trust disappears?

I’ve personally been in several life situations where the original trust has been altered and destroyed making it almost impossible to ever go back to the trust that was once so strong. It is a hard, long, emotional process to try to rebuild trust and sometimes it seems much easier to just throw in the towel and go build a new relationship thats not yet bare any struggle. But if you constantly gave up on relationships as soon as they got bumpy you would eventually have to move towns because you would run out of people to build new relationships with. Thats not realistic, you can’t just pick up your life and move every time the trust is damaged… so what do you do?

This is a question i have been asking myself for the last several weeks, and i have yet to come up with a useful answer that actually works. Instead i have come up with about 30 different solutions to repair trust, and then i have come up with a reason why each individual solution doesn’t work which, evidently, leads me back to square one.

So as i mentioned prior i have been struggling for weeks to repair trust within a certain relationship. Yes, you read that right… it has been weeks and i am still fighting to repair what we once had. At this point i wish there was a magical solution where i could just snap my fingers and all of a sudden i would be the bright eyed girl who never had gotten hurt – but my magic fairy hasn’t come to grant me this wish yet. Since apparently my fairy is on vacation, i have to come up with my own solution to try to rebuild this trust – compromise, tears, and a whole lot of time. I’ll start by saying the compromise didn’t come into play until at least 3 weeks of tears; which in my opinion is perfectly reasonable. Every body heals in their own way, so i needed 3 completely ridiculous selfish weeks before i could even begin to compromise with the boy that hurt me this bad. And now that compromise has come into the equation i feel like we are finally starting to move forward and build the trust that was once indestructible between us. Baby steps, but at least they are headed in the right direction.

In my opinion everybody is going to heal and rebuild trust in their own way. This isn’t a topic that you can google and follow a 10 step tutorial, instead it is a topic that you have to figure out for yourself and you have to do trial and error and you have to struggle and at some point you have to just close your eyes and put your heart on the line and wait. But if you want my advice those three things that i listed prior – compromise, tears, and time – seemed to work better for me then anything else i googled or came up with. I’m still not back to where i was, and i am not any where near where i want to be, but i have faith that if I keep working at it, and if he keeps working at it with me, eventually we are going to see the light at the end of this very dark tunnel. Trust isn’t something you can fix on your own, and it definitely isn’t something you can fix over night but if you both want it bad enough there is no reason why trust can’t be present within your relationship once again. And hopefully in the end, on your own time, you come out on top with a repaired relationship that is once again filled with trust.

Jane.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s